Date: October 4, 1896
Department: Secrecy and Obfuscation
Agent in Charge: Glynda North
Event: In a truly appalling oversight that has since been rectified, the subject, Ms. Dorothy Gale, when seeking shelter from a tornado in the South-Central Region, managed to gain admission to a heavily warded warehouse of dangerous and defunct magical objects. Though agents in charge of the warehouse swore up and down they had warded it against all Muggle intrusion, it seems young Ms. Gale not only found it no problem to locate the building, but also to let herself inside. She quickly became confused in the spatially warped interior and became lost for several weeks.
While wandering the interior of the warehouse, Ms. Gale befriended an animate scarecrow (which was incapable of scaring song birds, much less crows), a magical woodsman that felt such empathy for trees that its own tears caused it to rust, and a stuffed toy lion that had lacked the courage to fend off shadows for its original keeper. A little less than a month after her invasion, Ms. Gale was discovered by one of the keepers of the warehouse, Wilhemina Winkle. Madam Winkle of course apprehended the young girl and promptly called DSO agents to wipe her memory.
Whatever strength of will gained Ms. Gale access to warehouse, however, seems to have inured her to memory charms as well, and while the exact nature of her misadventure eludes her, she is quite caught up with the fanciful notion of another land called Oz, which draws broad elements from her time in the warehouse. Her three companions are repeated theme, as are the yellow walk-ways, a pair of cursed silver shoes the young girl apparently replaced her own shoes with, and Madam Winkle’s wooden leg and pursuit of her from the back of a broom.
We have deemed Ms. Gale’s modified memory acceptable, and she is currently at residence in a mental institution in Chicago, but hope she will be well soon so that we may release her back to her family. Her interest in Muggle newspapers is a good sign that she is slowly erasing these nebulous memories, and we are told she has taken up correspondence with several reporters for the Evening Post.
Case Status: CLOSED
(Mod Note: The idea for this concept was originally given to us by Adriene who also gave us permission to play with the idea for the fic. All the elements here are directly attributable to them, and I only had the extreme honor of putting it in ficlet form)
Rape has become endemic in South Africa, so a medical technician named Sonette Ehlers developed a product that immediately gathered national attention there. Ehlers had never forgotten a rape victim telling her forlornly, “If only I had teeth down there.”
Some time afterward, a man came into the hospital where Ehlers works in excruciating pain because his penis was stuck in his pants zipper.
Ehlers merged those images and came up with a product she called Rapex. It resembles a tube, with barbs inside. The woman inserts it like a tampon, with an applicator, and any man who tries to rape the woman impales himself on the barbs and must go to an emergency room to have the Rapex removed.
When critics complained that it was a medieval punishment, Ehlers replied tersely, “A medieval device for a medieval deed.”
- Half the Sky, Nicholas Kristof
REBLOGGING THIS. x1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
A medieval device for a medieval deed - yes.
This is perfect
BLESS THIS PERSON
I BOW TO THIS INTENTION
Can we talk about how beautifully this turns rape culture on its head? Instead of “If they weren’t dressed like that they wouldn’t have been raped” THIS IS LITERALLY “IF THEY HADN’T TRIED TO RAPE SOMEONE THEY WOULDN’T HAVE SPIKES IN THEIR DICK”*
That bold bit~
yo good luck beating this in 2015
my new favorite color
dragons that live in volcanoes and coat themselves in lava
dragons that live underwater and have fish scales instead of dragon scales
dragons that live in fields of flowers and breathe out avalanches of flowers instead of fire
DRAGONS BEING COOL AS SHIT
dragons that live in nebulae and exhale colorful dust and baby stars
dragons made out of mountains breathing out tiny pebbles
hurricane dragons breathing out mist and rain
In high school ya gotta learn that if you’re late you might as well be hella late and go have some breakfast or some shit
Helga’s thirst was so fucking real.
I love how helga’s fantasy wasn’t just “get arnold” it was “Be wildly succesful and have immense amounts of power and oh also be married to arnold”
Sirius Black demanding ‘a peck at the very least’ every time James kisses Lily.
it’s a family curse